It’s so easy to get caught up in the day to day life. Sometimes we forget to take care of ourselves. We’re moms, we’re wives, we have a job we do, and then suddenly we have this empty nest…and, we don’t know what to do with ourselves anymore.
It can be frustrating. You probably thought about it a lot when you didn’t have the spare time. Now that you do, you’re feeling lost.
One of the things that can help you move forward is to take time for self-reflection. Do a deep-dive into things that spark an interest or might fulfill you. You’re not who you used to be when you first got married, and you’re no longer a new mom. You’ve grown, matured, transitioned into a new place, but figuring out what you want is something that perplexes many middle-age women.
Do you have goals? Dreams?
Maybe you simply don’t know what you want to do. You’re lacking focus, direction, or purpose. Your life may feel unbalanced, and like something’s missing. Maybe you feel invisible.
You’ve always said, one day I want to…
Well, one day is here now. Only, that “one day” thought may not inspire you anymore.
What can you do to discover what will make you happy? Who you are today, a woman over 40 is different than the person you were at 25.
It’s time to rediscover yourself.
A simple way to start is by asking yourself thought-provoking questions.
At first, they might be harder to answer than you expected. The more you dig in, the easier it will be.
Midlife Goals and Mining Answers
Think about your goals…
Is this you? It’s been a while since I’ve really thought about my goals. I don’t know what I want.
Few people can pluck it from the air so quickly. If you could, you wouldn’t be stuck! Slow down, challenge yourself to go deep. Really think about what made you happy in the past. Think about how you spend your free time now, and where you’ve spent money in areas of enjoyment, entertainment, or in a hobby.
For example, you might have always though…one day I’m going to write a book. Ask yourself why. What will writing that book do for you? Will it feed your mind and soul? Keep digging deeper. Why will it feed your mind or soul? Do you want to share stories, be recognized or validated, or write to help others with something you know a lot about?
Now, dig deeper again. If you follow through, do you think it will fulfill you? Consider why.
Here’s another look. Maybe you went through something traumatic as a child, and you want to write a book to help other women.
Now, look at that on another layer. Maybe you want to share this with other women to help them with coping mechanisms that helped you overcome overwhelm.
Why? Because it might feel good to connect with other women.
Why? Because I don’t have a lot of female connections, and I’ve missed that.
So, say you start digging deeper and you realize it’s not really about writing a book…
Instead, it feels like it’s a path that will connect you with other women. It may have nothing to do with writing a book at all. You just couldn’t see what you were in search of.
Maybe you start to realize, it won’t satisfy you to write a book at all, because it’s not about the writing. So, you start to look at other ways to connect and make new friendships, because that’s what you were really missing from your life.
The only way to know what you want is to dig deep.