Midlife Buzz...thoughts for women over 40Member of the over 40 club? (raises hand…)

How uncomfortable are you willing to get? I was taking a course on increasing tension and conflicting values in my storylines. One of the things that was mentioned really hit home with me…

It related to my life, even though he was talking about fictional characters.

Your character wants something…but there’s a reason they haven’t reached their goal yet. Something is stopping them. The question we’re supposed to put to our character is…

I’d do anything to reach my goal…just don’t make me… (fill in the blank).

Then of course, in the story you’re supposed to make them do that. Throw them right into the fire from the frying pan. It’s about building that tension and raising stakes. It’s a way to help your character grow throughout the story, as they learn through their obstacles, whether physical or emotional.

But I heard a little voice in the back of my head.

What was my, “just don’t make me…” moment?

Yeah. I knew immediately.

Don’t make me put myself out there. Don’t make me be vulnerable in front of the world. Don’t make me feel exposed as a writer. It was an eye-opening moment. I never been very comfortable on social media. That’s where I needed to be, but it was a struggle for me…as some of you might have seen. I simply wasn’t showing up. My introverted side was kicking my rear.

I wanted to bury my head in the sand like an ostrich. I needed to reckon with my own version of “how comfortable am I at getting uncomfortable” dilemma. I’m not so good at it…but I’m going to try to work on this.

I’m slowly building my confidence in this arena. Am I good at it today? Nope, but I’m getting better…(maybe a smidge…it’s my goal to conquer it in 20201), because I’m forcing myself to move from my comfort zone in new ways.

What about you?

If there’s something you’ve been wanting to do?

Dig in and examine your answer. How comfortable are you at being uncomfortable? How much would you sacrifice to get the things that you really want? What’s it worth to you?

Maybe you’ve always wanted to learn to fly a plane or write a book or start a second careers as a teacher in your second half of life. What would it take for you to push yourself enough to go after those dreams?

Would it make you a little uncomfortable? Are you willing to do it anyway?

It’s easy to say, oh sure I do whatever it takes…but saying it doing it are two different things.

Be realistic and honest with yourself. Are you willing to do something that makes you feel vulnerable?

Understanding your comfort zone is a great way of looking at your growth. Where are you now? Where do you want to be? Self-reflection is perfect in this matter. That’s what led me here. I knew I needed to work on my confidence in a way that would say I wasn’t going to let fear or lack of confidence stop me. I was going to do it anyway…